Who's in charge here?

The way that I see kids dress, act, and talk amazes me. I was not spoiled as I child, I actually had to wait until things were out of date and very "un-cool" until my parents would even consider getting it for me, and then it was given as a reward of sorts. Raising my daughters is hard enough with all of these outside influences. Even if i were to keep them from the influences in the media they would get it from school or their peers. Unless I am willing to move into a cave in the mountains there is nowhere to hide from the pressure to buy buy buy and spoil spoil spoil. The struggles that I face with the "to spoil or not to spoil" debate are endless. It definitely puts stress on myself as a parent. 1. Do I give them what they want or just what they need? 2. Do i buy them what they desire so that they will be socially accepted by their peers? 3. Do i teach them how they can help themselves in acquiring what they want? Well I think the least harmful and the most helpful one would be #3. I try ,and believe others should also, to show them that they can have whatever they want as long as they have earned it and deserve it. Earning things and deserving things are different then expecting them and assuming that they will be there, no matter the behavior exhibited or the consequences of prior actions. Parents are spoiling as a easy way out I believe. When in the end it just makes things harder all around.