The other night I was reviewing some psychological profile notes on an officer candidate that I had been considering for dismissal from Officer Candidate School (OCS) in 2000. He was being considered for dismissal because of his abusive way of getting others to do what he wanted. As his Commander it was my duty to make a decision if he should continue a career in the Army after OCS or to recommend he be discharged from the Army. I recall talking to him about his abusive behavior towards his peers, especially females and those younger than he. He told me in no uncertain terms this was the way he was taught to get what he wanted, and no one could change his behavior since it was his father that taught him all of this and his father wasn't wrong!
My review of those notes make me realize the impact parents have on their children, positive and negative. This individual was convinced he was doing the right thing by coercing and bullying his peers into doing what he wanted. He would have continued this behavior in the Army if he had been commissioned an officer or allowed to stay in the Army. The notes were an interesting read on how a person can be influenced by their parents. This individual stated he had learned early on he could get his father's positive attention by telling him how he had been able to coerce and bully the other children at school to get his way or to get others to take credit for things he had done wrong. His father encouraged him to continue to do what was successful and he would never have to "eat shit" from anyone.
I think parents are a big influence on how children turn out in our culture. If parents encourage bullying, then we will most likely get bullies and intolerant children; if parents encourage tolerance and open mindedness then we will most likely get more tolerant and open minded children. Parents are not the only influences on children but I think parents create the atmosphere that determines how a child will turn out in our culture.
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I tend to agree with you. If fact, a class mate and I will be debating this very issue on Monday. I also believe that there are many different reasons a person "turns out" that way he or she does. It is not just the parents that influence the behaviors and attitudes of their child. Environment,peers,culture, and economics are but a few other factors that encourage kids today. Ultimately, however, I am pulled to believe that it starts at home, thus the parents have a huge in-pact with kids and their believe system, which drives behaviors, good or bad, in the end.
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