Paul Dobransky, M. (2009, November 24). The Urban Scientist. Retrieved November 27, 2009, from Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-urban-scientist/200911/is-giving-thanks-form-anger?page=2
The holiday season is here. That time of year we all look forward to. Or is it? The majority of people I have talked to lately dread the holidays, myself included. It seems as though there are a variety of reasons for this. Some people dislike shopping this time of year. Some people don’t want to be around their obnoxious, know-it-all brother-in-laws. Other people get the holiday blues because of a plethora of different reasons.
I found this article interesting because it points out the reasons for anger that seems to show up this time of year in even the most functional of families. The explanation that anger comes from some kind of hurt or from some kind of need not being met makes great sense. The emphasis on being happy during the holidays almost seems to bring about the opposite response. Hurts and unmet needs that have occurred over the year surface from the stress of the season. Knowing this anger is dealt with by getting depressed or aggressive, which helps no one, or by being assertive, which is a productive way to work through anger is great information. We can utilize this information to understand others behavior and to modify our behavior to maximize our own happiness and productivity.
As we go through this season, we should take time to make sure those we care about are dealing with anger they feel productively. I really believe in what this article says…that if we choose to be thankful, appreciative, and forgiving (rather than depressed and aggressive) we can move forward in making decisions to assertively map the life we want which will replace that anger and allow for happier holidays and a more fulfilled life overall.
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It is interesting how assertiveness is an action that can be helpful. I wonder could assertiveness be the opposite of aggression? If we did that exercise that we did for aggression in class again except for assertiveness would we find that it is as complicated as aggression. Or can there also be assertive aggression? I guess there could be because there is passive aggression. Either way your doing something about the way you feel either in a negative or positive tone. I think the point here is that smiles, frowns, laughter, and growls are contagious and as long as we are aware of that fact and we remember that we choose our behaviors the emotional outlook of the holidays is purely up to every individual.
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